Part 1: Essential Life Skills
I always thought happiness and my overall sense of wellbeing would come as a result of achieving my ideal life. Yet, no matter my successes or the beautiful experiences I had, ‘true happiness’ always seemed to be around the corner, but never here. “But at some point surely I would finally have everything I needed to feel good and ‘just be happy’??!”.
This belief, which may be familiar to you, led to a cycle of striving for more, achieving more, feeling depleted and then questioning why I wasn’t feeling fulfilled, with an underlying narrative of ‘what’s wrong with me’.
Fast forward to my time studying with the Mindfulness Research Centre, Department of Psychology at Oxford University, where I delved into research on happiness, life satisfaction, and wellbeing - whilst learning about the internal workings of the mind.
I started recognising a liberating truth: happiness and wellbeing are not states to be found, but a set of SKILLS that we need to cultivate. This felt like a monumental discovery!!
We all have the potential to feel well and happy, but we were simply never taught how.
So if my happiness and wellbeing are dependent on trainable skills, why are we not taught those skills in school? This still baffles me.
Also, by linking your happiness & wellbeing to external circumstances you are undermining your power. External circumstances are temporary and impossible to control, so it’s a waste to rely on this as our only source of well-being - but by cultivating wellbeing as skills from the inside, it’s a state that will always be present deep down.
Recognising their significance, I began referring to these skills as ‘Essential Life Skills’. (They should be part of an instruction manual we get when we are born on how to operate this complex human mind-body in a way that brings us more joy.)
Symbiotically, these skills create powerful inner resourcefulness, rewiring and counteracting many of the fear-based tendencies of the mind that get in the way of us feeling a lasting sense of wellbeing.
Essential Life Skills
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Essential Life Skills 〰️
Through a 5-part series, we'll explore each of these evidence-based Essential Life Skills.
Here's a glimpse of what's ahead…
SKILL 1: DE-CENTERING
Taking command of your life by reshaping your relationship to your thoughts + understanding the interaction with emotions.
SKILL 2: GRATITUDE + SAVOURING
Counteracting fear-based survival mechanisms and rewiring your brain for joy and fulfillment.
SKILL 3: SELF-WORTH
Confidence through radical self-acceptance and how to replace self-criticism with self-compassion without letting yourself off the hook.
SKILL 4: MIND-BODY CONNECTION
This is the foundational skill of authenticity, which supports alignment between your outward expression and your inner truth.
SKILL 5: EMBRACING DIFFICULTY
Meeting challenges and difficult emotions with a sense of inner resilience. Learning to ‘process and respond’, instead of ‘suppress and react' in moments of difficulty.
I hope these newsletters can offer valuable knowledge and tools, but a reminder that true transformation blossoms with deeper exploration and practice.
If you're curious about embarking on a journey of self-leadership, I’m offering a 1:1 coaching program starting in May.
With love,
Emma
