The Paradox of Transformation
Hi lovely humans,
We’re still at the beginning of the year and there’s lots of renewed commitment to change and goal-setting for 2024, which is awesome. But sadly around 70% of all New Year’s Resolutions fail. That’s a whole lot of unrealised human potential!
There are many reasons for this staggering number, but one very important factor is our lack of understanding of the Paradox of Transformation.
We often look at the process of change as a journey of actions to get us from A to B. We set our minds on the desired outcome….and most of us eventually give up when we keep slipping back into old patterns.
To create lasting change (meaning we need to truly re-program our subconscious mind) we need to work with a new, counterintuitive approach, which can be summarised as follows:
<To get from A to B, you need to be more with A.>
(as opposed to: To get from A to B, just focus on B.)
For example:
>>If you want to feel more confident, embrace your insecurity.
>>If you want to experience more freedom, embrace stuckness.
>>If you want to feel peace, embrace the aspects of you that feel anxious and chaotic.
>>If you want to be healthier, become curious about the part that sabotages.
…this is what is known as the ‘paradox of transformation’.
So you are not getting rid of, overcoming, or letting go of aspects of yourself that don’t serve you, you are integrating and embracing these parts of you - and this is what liberates the subconscious. You will get so much further if you think of the journey of transformation as a process toward self-acceptance, not self-improvement.
“Think of the journey of transformation as a process toward self-acceptance, not self-improvement.”
I could write a whole book about this and the effects this approach has had on my life (and maybe I will one day!) but the main point I want to leave you with is this:
If you are struggling to create the change you hope to see in your life, as a first step, start becoming more curious about the aspect of you that is getting in the way of you achieving what you want or creating a new habit. It’s good to remind ourselves that when these limiting beliefs or behaviour patterns were originally created, it was likely that they served, helped, or protected you in some way. They’re not bad; they served a purpose at some point. What often is required is understanding and listening to the need it served to release its grip.
If you want to explore this further or if you have questions - please get in touch! I love to hear from you.
With much love,
Emma
