Feeling Stuck and Disoriented? Read this!

We often overlook the value of the uncomfortable ‘in-between’ space —when it feels like you’re treading through mud and can’t seem to move forward. This phase is defined by discomfort and uncertainty. Yet, it’s vital for change.

Read on to shift your perspective on this potent state for change to take root.

In the last few days I’ve had conversations that reflect back on what’s been - thank you friends and clients for inspiring this important post.

My 2024 was a year of extraordinary milestones and visible transformation.

But my 2023?

That had a very different quality to it. There were no obvious changes to celebrate - I had multiple areas of my life that I was questioning and trying to anchor a decision so I could move forward, my coaching business was slow moving and it felt like my external results didn’t match my internal effort.

Looking back now, I realise 2023 is where the real work happened. Beneath the surface, 2023 was when the groundwork was laid for everything that came next. It was a year of many subtle, internal shifts, quiet realisations, and commitments that made all the difference.

It wasn’t stagnation—it was preparation.

Like the invisible roots of a plant spreading deep into the soil before it blooms, it was in those still, quiet moments that I unknowingly laid the groundwork for what would come next.

The 4 Stages of Change

Transformation doesn’t happen all at once; meaningful change unfolds in phases - and each phase is essential for sustainable change.

When you’re breaking old habits, creating something new, or navigating life’s inevitable transitions, just as in nature, there’s a rhythm to how we change. Here’s what that rhythm often looks like *(it’s not always linear, often we circle back through previous phases before we’ve found the final stage):*

1. DISSOLVING
This stage is about questioning and shedding.

Old habits, beliefs, or identities begin to loosen their grip. It’s often disorienting and marked by discomfort—after all, we’re shedding parts of ourselves that once felt familiar to create a new sense of self.

“I’m not sure who I am anymore without this aspect of my life.”
“I’m not sure what I want/where I’m going - my path feels unclear.”

2. IMAGINING
Though still uncertain, this phase sees hope return even if a new reality still feels distant or unachievable.

Here, we begin to dream of what could be. It’s a period of exploration, curiosity, and visualising possibilities.

“What if I tried something completely different?”
“Maybe it’s possible” ”Let me follow my curiosity”

3. REFORMING
This is the action phase.

We take steps—often messy and imperfect—toward what we’ve imagined. It’s a time of trial and error, where resilience matters most yet doubt often takes hold.

”It’s not working!” “I keep failing”
“I’ll try again tomorrow.”

4. TAKING FLIGHT
Finally, transformation stabilises.

The new ‘identity’ feels more natural, and the changes we’ve worked toward become a part of who we are and we can finally see that the seeds have bloomed into a thriving plant.

“This is just me now / this is just part of my life now.”

Why the Space In-Between
Is So Essential

The in-between, where things can feel stagnant, uncertain and challenging—is where the magic happens.

It’s easy to mistake this time for a lack of progress, but beneath the surface, the groundwork for lasting change and a more aligned life is being laid.

Think of it like planting seeds. You don’t dig them up every day to see if they’re growing; you trust that with the right care, they will bloom in their own time. Give yourself that same trust, my love.

Similarly, the space in-between is where we:

Have the vulnerability to turn inward: The precursor is often (but not always) some form of crisis or de-stablisation: A break up, a burn out, an illness, a loss. We simply cannot continue forward as the same person.
Shed layers that no longer serves us. A clearing makes room for what’s next.
Deepen self-awareness. Without the distractions of as many external milestones, we turn inward and reconnect with our values and intentions.
Build resilience and patience. Navigating uncertainty teaches us to hold space for discomfort without rushing to “fix” it.

What I know for sure is that sitting with discomfort and uncertainty invites vulnerability and insight - AND THIS is the most potent inner state for subtle shits to take root.

5 Reflective Questions

to Acknowledge Your Growth

If you’re looking back on 2024 and wondering if you’ve grown, I invite you to pause and explore these prompts. They’re designed to help you uncover the progress that may be hidden beneath the surface:

What season am I in right now?
Am I dissolving, imagining, reforming, or taking flight? Recognizing your stage can help you trust the process.
What internal shifts have I experienced in the year thats been?
Look beyond tangible outcomes to qualities like resilience, compassion, or clarity.
What seeds have I planted?
Consider the intentions, actions, or relationships you’ve nurtured, even if they haven’t blossomed yet.
How have I supported myself during this time?
Celebrate the ways you’ve shown up for yourself, whether through rest, self-care, inner work, or persistence.
What cycles have I completed?
Acknowledge the chapters you’ve closed, even if they didn’t end as you’d hoped. All endings make space for something new.

Growth isn’t always visible,

but it’s always happening

The space in-between may not feel glamorous, but it’s vital.

It’s where we gather strength, plant intentions, and learn to sit with ourselves as we are.

Transformation needs patience and trust above anything else.

Remember, your journey is unfolding beautifully, in its own time.

“The flower doesn’t worry about blooming late. It just opens when it’s ready.”

Always rooting for you,

Emma