FREE DOWNLOAD: The Power of Thought Work
MASTERING YOUR MIND: THE POWER OF THOUGHT WORK
*based on the self-coaching model created by The Life Coach SchoolHi lovely people,
About five years ago I was stuck in a very negative space. I had just left my career (and a big part of my identity), I was run down and felt like my body was giving up on me, I struggled with vicious intrusive thoughts, and had an unshakable feeling that maybe I just wasn’t wired to be happy. I was caught in a negative thinking loop.
During this time, I started studying at Oxford’s Mindfulness Centre, where I found the most simple yet liberating truth: I am not my thoughts - I can choose to not believe them.
I could choose how I wanted to think about something, and in doing so, I could shape how I feel, my actions, and even the results in my life.
Most of us haven’t been taught to question our thoughts. We are so over-identified with our mind, leaving no room to see its bias. It is widely known that 80 percent of our thoughts are negative, and 75 percent of them are repetitive. No wonder we repeat the same mistakes and feel like we can’t move forward!
I want to reassure you that your thoughts are not any worse than others, here are some of the most common negative thoughts people share:
"I'm not good enough." (Self-doubt and low self-worth)
"What if I fail and embarrass myself?" (Fear of failure and rejection)
"Things never work out for me." (Helplessness and overgeneralisation)
"Everyone else is doing better than me." (Comparison and imposter syndrome)
"People will judge me if I make a mistake." (Fear of judgment and social anxiety)
Here's the truth: Your thoughts are just a lens coloured by previous experiences, overall mood/state, and the mind’s ‘default setting’ which focuses on the negative/problems/threats.
This is the foundation of Thought Work—a powerful strategy for working with your mindset. By bringing awareness to the stories we tell ourselves and learning to shift them. We begin to see that outcomes are largely the result of how we think, not the result of our circumstances.
***
…..Now I want to mention that thought work is not the only layer of change.
In my experience, Thought Work is most effective when paired with deeper work—the kind that reaches beyond conscious thought and into the subconscious, where many of our core beliefs, emotional patterns, and conditioning reside. If you’ve ever struggled to change a thought, even when you know it’s not serving you, it may be because there’s something deeper holding it in place.
This doesn’t mean Thought Work isn’t valuable—it absolutely is.
But true transformation often requires working on multiple levels:
At the cognitive level (Thought Work) – Bringing awareness to and reshaping our thoughts.At the emotional and somatic level – Understanding how these thoughts are wired into our nervous system and stored in the body.At the subconscious level – Exploring deeper patterns that may not be fully accessible through thought alone.
What I love about Thought Work is that it gives us an entry point. It offers a practical, accessible way to start shifting our experience of life, one thought at a time.
May this serve you on your path.
With love,
THE THOUGHT WORK MODEL
A Step-by-Step Guide
The Thought Work Model helps us work through any challenge by breaking it down into five clear parts:
Circumstance – The neutral facts of the situation. These are things that everyone would agree on and that could be proven in a court of law.
Thought – The story, belief, or interpretation you have about the circumstance.
Feeling – The emotion that arises from that thought.
Action – What you do (or don’t do) as a result of that feeling. If you’re not taking action and wondering why not, ask yourself what feeling you have right before you want to take action.
Result – The outcome you create from your actions (which generally tends to reinforce your original thought).
The key? The way we think about our circumstances is what shapes everything else.
STEP 1.
Write down “C, T, F, A, R” (the acronym for the components of the Model) in a vertical column:
C__________________
T__________________
F__________________
A__________________
R__________________
STEP 2.
Fill in one line. It can be any line that you want to start from.
For example, let’s say you frequently struggle with setting boundaries in relation to your friends and you want to understand why.
C__________________
T__________________
F__________________
A Saying yes, even when it disrupts my schedule.
R__________________
STEP 3.
Fill in the other lines.
C A friend asks for a favor.
T I should do it. My friends come first. They need to know I care.
F Obligation and pressure.
A Saying yes, even when it disrupts my schedule.
R Feeling drained, overwhelmed, and putting my own needs last.
When you discover the underlying thought causing the results in your life, you become aware of how you’re responsible for those results (now let’s remember this is not about further self-blame, this is about shifting into empowerment!). That awareness shows you how you’re already creating certain results, which means you can change your thoughts to achieve different outcomes.
STEP 4. OPTIONAL
Finally, decide what you want your new thought to be and change it. Keep in mind, your thoughts only lead to your results if you actually believe the thoughts.
New possible model:
C A friend asks for a favor.
T Caring about my friends doesn’t mean I have to say YES every time.
F Empowered and at ease.
A Politely saying no when needed while offering support in a way that works for me.
R More balanced relationships and a greater sense of wellbeing.
IMPORTANT NOTE ABOUT CHOOSING A NEW THOUGHT:
Use ‘Bridge Thoughts’ or ‘Laddering thoughts’
You have to incrementally change your thoughts from negative to neutral and then to positive, so that you can believe them. If a thought feels too far from your current belief, soften it.
Instead of: "I am completely confident in setting boundaries." (which may feel unrealistic at first), try:
"I am learning to balance my needs with those of others."
"My wellbeing matters just as much as my friendships."
"Saying no sometimes doesn’t make me a bad friend."
"I can set boundaries and still be there for the people I care about."
MORE EXAMPLES…
EXAMPLE. Starting With a Feeling
Let’s say you’re feeling stressed and overwhelmed.
C A long to-do list.
T I’ll never get everything done. I’m too busy.
F Stressed & Overwhelmed.
A Procrastinating, avoiding tasks.
R Work piles up, increasing the overwhelm.
New possible thought:
C A long to-do list.
T I don’t have to do it all at once—I can take the next small step.
F More grounded.
A You start with one task.
R Progress, creating a sense of relief.
EXAMPLE. Starting with an Action You Keep Taking (or Avoiding)
Let’s say you keep hitting snooze instead of working out.
C The alarm goes off at 6 AM.
T I never stick to things. This won’t make a difference anyway.
F Unmotivated.
A You hit snooze and stay in bed.
R No workout, reinforcing the belief that you don’t stick to things.
New possible thought:
C The alarm goes off at 6 AM.
T Moving my body, even for five minutes, will help me feel better.
F Encouraged.
A You get up and stretch for five minutes.
R A small win, building self-trust.
No matter where you begin, the Thought Work Model remains the same. The main question is: What’s the thought behind this? And is it serving me?
How Do We Start Believing New Thoughts?
So you’ve identified a new thought. Now what? How do you actually make it stick?
***
Repeat It Daily – Say it to yourself every morning, or write it down somewhere visible. The more your brain hears it, the more familiar it becomes.
Find Small Evidence – Look for real-life examples that support your new thought. If your new thought is "I am capable," notice moments, however small, where you were capable."
Anchor It in the Body – Say the thought out loud and notice how it feels. If it brings tension, adjust it slightly until it feels more true.
Pair It with Action – Reinforce your thought by taking even the smallest step. If your thought is "I can handle challenges," prove it by handling one tiny thing today.
New thoughts feel strange at first because your brain is wired for the old ones. But with repetition and real-world evidence, they become second nature.
AN IMPORTANT QUESTION
“Doesn’t that mean I’m Just Seeing the World Through Rose-Tinted Glasses?”
This brilliant question came from one of my lovely clients.
Thought Work is NOT about denying reality or making excuses for others. It’s about choosing the most helpful interpretation of a situation while still staying grounded in truth.
***
Let’s take the example of someone not texting back.
C – Circumstance: No reply to a text message.
T – Thought: He’s not texting back because he doesn’t care about me.
F – Feeling: Hurt, anxious.
A – Action: Overthinking, withdrawing, maybe sending an emotional text.
R – Result: Reinforcing the belief that you’re not valued.
Alternative Thought:
C – Circumstance: No reply to a text message.
T – Thought: I don’t know why he hasn’t replied. There could be many reasons. I’ll choose not to assume the worst.
F – Feeling: More neutral.
A – Action: You carry on with your day, focusing on yourself.
R – Result: Less emotional distress, maintaining your self-worth.
Reality remains the same, but your experience of it changes.
4 Tips for Using the Thought Work Model
1) If you’re struggling with the model…. Try a Thought Download
If you're feeling stuck or confused about why you acted or felt a certain way, a Thought Download can help. Write how you feel and what you’re thinking for five minutes without stopping or putting down your pen. This practice helps you get clear on the thoughts running through your mind, revealing how they might be shaping your emotions and actions.
2) Write your Thought Work down on paper, don’t do it in your head
Why? Writing your Thought Work Model down on paper helps you step outside the mind and examine your thoughts from a distance, asking:
Is this thought actually true?
Is it helpful?
What else could be true?
3) Recognise that all Circumstances are Neutral
Remember, circumstances themselves are neutral. It’s the thoughts we attach to them that create our emotional experience.
When people hurt your feelings, it’s because they acted in a way that didn’t live up to your expectations. Their actions are a circumstance. How you feel about those actions—your hurt feelings—is the result of the thought you’re having about those actions. Someone else cannot jump into your body and make you feel an emotion.
4) You don’t have to change your thoughts!
Even a loss, like death, is in itself a neutral circumstance. It is largely our thoughts about it like “I can’t live without them” that bring on the grief.
Thought Work doesn’t encourage you to NOT think a certain thought, it just asks you to be aware of your thoughts and take ownership of them so they don’t run your life unconsciously.
Sometimes we may choose to continue thinking the way we are because we decide it serves us for now, for example in the case of a major loss, it’s important to move through the process of grief.
We are not trying to find positivity in all aspects of life. You are simply looking at how your inner world shapes your outer world and opening up to new possibilities rather than reinforcing an old story.
5) Your Awareness is the Key
This model helps shift your thoughts from unconscious to conscious
—and that is what gives you the power to create change. This simple act of observing your thoughts (without judgment + as much compassion as you can dig out) helps you remember that YOU ARE NOT YOUR THOUGHTS - YOU ARE THE ONE WITNESSING THEM.
Rewriting Your Reality
Thought Work doesn’t mean living in denial. It means realising that you are the author of your inner world. The way you think shapes the way you feel, act, and experience life.
When you become intentional with your thoughts, you shift from reacting to creating.
So, what’s one thought you’re ready to rewrite today?
